By Erika Mendez ~ Student Journalist
Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. People that have had the opportunity to get to know me and understand how I think would define me as fearless. Even as a child, I remember wanting to do anything that seemed fun and thrilling without having thoughts of consequences or injuries. As I’m writing this I realize now as an adult my ambitions have heightened but remained the same in that sense. When I think about my fears, failure and uncertainty are the main ones. I think about my future a lot and whether or not I will be happy and successful. I feel like whenever I take a loss, it eats away at me. This fear has made me into a perfectionist and having the need to control everything in my life. I love feeling happy so whenever I get a sense of sadness, the fear of losing that happiness just creeps out and overwhelms me. Expressing myself through writing has helped me ease down alot.
Sometimes, my own anger frightens me because I feel like I can’t control it and it takes over my body. I hate hurting people that I love but sometimes I don’t even notice that I do. I’ve had one major heartbreak in my life and that’s where my resentment stems from. There are days where I feel like I can conquer anything I want. There are days where I feel like I will never be good enough. It’s hard for me to trust any guy really because I have been hurt in the past. My guard is always up and I have no choice but to protect myself when all I want to do is let go and be free. I have hurt people that wanted me to open up to them and I always regret it. My family has been the best support system because they always have my back, especially my mom. I have been working on improving myself and my attitude, I pray a lot and practice the law of attraction technique. I truly believe my purpose in this world is to be someone great like a trailblazer of some sort. Writing has always and will always be my passion. I’m extremely optimistic of the future because I’m working on becoming the best version of myself. The future is frightening of course but I’m the captain of my ship and we’re going full steam ahead.